This is my story of Shibari experience, originally written in August 2019.
Rope bondage, also referred to as rope play, kinbaku, shibari is bondage involving the use of rope to restrict movement, wrap, suspend, or restrain a person, as part of BDSM activities.
{Now - if you feel any judgments, fears or anything else rather than curiosity starting to pop into your mind, I invite you to pause and take a breath, now see if you can find a place of neutrality before continue reading.}
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Many people do not understand why would someone want to get tied up and have pain and constriction inflicted on them... well I am here to tell you because it is FUN...and then some.
I consciously made a decision to experience that and Universe guided me to an experienced rope artist who made my first bondage journey absolutely phenomenal. Rope has been calling me for a while now, sending me IG relating posts, seeing images and other people talk about it and even learning about #shibari (which isnt the same as rope play that I experienced btw). So what was it like for me? Oh boy...what a trip.
Im going to start of saying that yes I started looking into BDSM more lately, with my Tantric work I am expanding my awareness to different ways of connecting and relating to others and finding ways to push my edges of a comfort zone in a safe and creative way.
What I feel drawn to about rope play is the play of taking on a submissive role. In my daily life I am always in control. Everything I do is always structured and I feel uncomfortable letting anyone else do the tasks I ask because I know that it will not be done my way. So yes I am a slight control warrior. Hence my Tantric work and why I'm so good at it.
So as I started learning about the rope and seeing images I was feeling the call. I didn't know what and why but i knew I had to experience it.
What I was searching for was 3 things: letting go of control, trusting someone else, and whatever physical experience I was going to get out of it.
I didnt know what to expect. The artist with whom I worked is someone I knew for about a year but didn't feel resonation with his work until I was ready for it. He was very mindful and conscious about the process, taking the time to make sure I was coming there with the right intentions. Before we began, we had a conversation and got acquainted with each other, he told me about his training and about his process. He made me feel safe and was able to establish safety trust by studying my body, the movement of my joints and how he can comfortably and safely tie me without implicating dangerous pain.
See, with this work, safety is essential. There are many people who are starting out to do this, learning from the youtube videos but who don't actually know the body and the nerve locations that which are dangerous to inflict pressure over.
I felt safe. I was ready to dive into my own inner realm and bring all my presence to become the observer of the experience. The energy shifted, The artist took on the dominant role and I submitted down to my knees ready to surrender to his art.
It took a while for me to open up and expand my heart into the space of desired openness, we had a short test round, after which he untied me and we took time to chat and reconnect. As my energy calmed and we found more harmony we began again.
Back on my knees, he started to tie me again, placing one hand behind the other carefully and mindfully I felt the sensations of the rope touch my skin, encompassing my freedom within it. Being more present now, I was fully in it. The way he was moving and breathing around me started to feel very awakening; being very open and sensitive to energies, it didn't take long for me to understand that this experience was going to evoke some deep sexual energy, a kind I haven't experienced before.
My upper body was now tied, he gracefully shifted me off my knees and onto my butt, having me lean against a rope that was behind my back connected to the rod above me, I felt comfortable and playful, swinging side to side pressed against the rope, we exchanged few cheerful smiles. He now started to bond my legs and my hips, pressing the rope firmly against the soft skin; I started to feel more constriction and slight pain as the rope was being woven in between my skin and the already wrapped rope around my thighs. There were moments of pain as the rope was tight while he needed the slide another string under it, the sharp burning sensation to which I exclaimed "WTF!" ... he assured me that I was okay and told me to breathe through it. And so I did, I trusted his guidance.
My whole body was tied now, the energy heightened, I'm curious, excited, and present. I am now fully bonded by rope sitting on the floor with my hands behind my back, and my legs slightly bent and bonded together. The artist then takes the rope away from behind my back pulling tightly on it, which lowers my front body down to the floor, leaving few inches for my face to just not touch it. The first rapid and intense sensations are now felt, as my face is hanging few inches away from the ground, submitted. As the rope presses into my skin to hold the weight of my body hanging down I feel the rush of energy kick in, my breath got rapid as the adrenaline-filled my mind and body. I had few minutes to adjust myself into his new position, feeling myself in a new state of being before the next wave came over me. He then pulled the ropes and lifted my hips up into the air , “Ouch” - I exclaimed, I am now fully held by rope, my face still hanging below my waistline and my hips are now up. What was felt here was a fully orgasmic sexual energy that was created by the sensations of the rope piercing into my skin, the dance of pain and pleasure overtook my senses as the dopamine and serotonin was released filling me with a tantalizing concussion of euphoric awareness. I started laughing, crying and letting myself go as I had no choice but to surrender to the amazing new sensations which I never felt before. He lowered down, pulled my hair away from my face and checked on me, he looked into my eyes making sure I was okay, with few gentle hair strokes I felt so nurtured in the most sensual and erotic way. The waves of orgasmic energy swirling through my body as I catch my breath and let go a little more.
It was perfect!
Words can't do justice for experiences that are so beyond the physical.
The dynamic of the play goes beyond the surface level. Mind, body, and spirit are fully involved and then some. Allowing for the light and dark to play in unison is a beautiful thing to watch.
Question is why do we seek pain? Because on many levels pain is also pleasure depending on how you look at it.
BDSM and the world of Kink is ever-expanding for those daring to dip their toes in. I find that spirituality and sexuality are co-existing very beautifully and harmoniously if we are dedicated to living our truth and honoring our innate desires from human life exploration. It's not for everyone I know, and you must honor your own journey, however for me, I like to live on the edge and walk the line that most people would look at as scary, unethical or whatever else, however I see it as the unknown and inexperienced places which most simply fear to shine light on.
Our time together ended with him letting the rope loose and freeing me. My upper body was achy from the unusual position in which my arms were held, so he took time to massage my upper body out and gave me a nurturing healing space in which I came back down from the wild high that my brain was able to cultivate from the experience. For the rest of the day I was vividly awake, present and in absolute awe. I felt so much love and gratitude for The Artist and his time to share such beautiful and intimate space with me. It was truly a gift and I will always remember it as such.
It amazes me what this life can offer us. I seek out connections and experiences that are deep, intimate and mind-expanding and that is exactly what I manifested in this rope journey.
I believe it is important to keep an open mind and not fear things that we don’t know. After all this life was designed for us to experience it fully, that is if we are courageous to do so!